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Job Search Depression: A Career Coach’s Candid Advice

Writer's picture: Cara HeilmannCara Heilmann


Searching for a job can be extremely difficult. 


Especially if it feels like nothing you do is working. You put your heart into an application and don’t hear back. Again and again.


If you’re in this situation, you’re probably thinking, “WTF am I doing wrong?” and perhaps more acutely, “How TF can I keep doing this?”


And I totally get it.


I work as a career coach, and I’ve been up close and personal with thousands of people in your exact position.


People who were feeling depressed and hopeless. People who wondered if they’d ever get out of this jobsearching phase.


And I’ve learnt a thing or two from this vantage point. From helping so many clients get through this exact situation.


I’ve seen what helps them keep going without emotionally collapsing. And I’ve seen what helps them actually get a job.


There was one particular client, we’ll call him Hank, who managed his job-hunting depression in a way that I think will particularly intrigue you.


So in this article, I want to share with you what works. And how you can get through this chapter. 


What to Do When You Can't Get Out of Bed


If your day is full of difficult feelings like anxiety and shame, then it’s natural to not want to enter into it. 


In these cases, I’ve found it can be helpful to bring a slice of heaven into each day.  


What activities make you feel content? Whole?


For me, it is putting my hands in my garden. I love the smell of earth. The sound of the birds. Wondering what's growing. Planting. Picking fruits. Seeing if my carrots got any bigger. To me, this feels like "heaven on earth." 


What is your "heaven on earth?" 


Figure out what it is and integrate that into your mornings so that your day begins with a bit of heaven.


If you are really hurting, it could help to take a week off. Go do something that’ll revitalize your spirit and restore your mental health.


Action Step: Bring more moments of joy into your days (not related to your job search process). Especially each morning before you start work.


What to Do When Applications Feel Like Shouting Into the Void


One of the most brutal parts of the job search is the lack of feedback.


It’d be one thing if every company responded to your application with a handwritten note, thanking you for your efforts, complimenting your background, and giving feedback on how your application could be stronger.


Unfortunately, most applications are met with crickets. You send dozens out and hear nothing back.


Oof. It’s definitely hard to keep confidence when this happens and to contend with feelings of helplessness.


But here are a few tips to make it through these difficult times.


Action Step 1: Track every application in a spreadsheet.


Mark the company, the role, when you applied, and perhaps even how long you spent on the application. 


Having the data in front of you can give you more of a sense of control and accomplishment to see how much you’ve done.


Action Step 2: Collect a list of wins. It could be on a piece of paper or in a Google Doc.


Whenever you get a win—no matter how small—log it!


That “win” could be getting a job interview invite, a recruiter responding to your LinkedIn message, or a friend offering to connect you to someone in their network,


When you’re feeling down, consult your list of wins as proof that you are making progress.


(And... when you get hired—because you will—and end up one day in a position of leadership, demand that your company do better with keeping candidates in the know.)


What to Do When Rejection Hits Hard


For most of us, rejection hurts. Psychologists think that fear of rejection is hardwired into us.


So if you’re feeling down from a rejection, that’s normal. Most people would feel the same.


Dealing with rejection is a lifelong practice. But here are two mindset shifts that I’ve seen work for many of my clients. And myself.


Mindset 1: Take on the perspective that in order to land a job, you’ll need to get rejected 75 times first. Imagine that you won’t get a job until you hit that number. 


Rejection isn’t just something to deal with; it’s actually a necessary step in the right direction.


You could even track your rejections and celebrate when they pour in.  


But you can’t just spray out applications seeking rejection—the number only holds if your efforts are sincere.


After all, it’s claimed that Walt Disney got rejected 300 times in his attempt to bring Mickey Mouse to the big screen.


Mindset 2: Try on the perspective that life is happening for you, and not to you.


You don’t necessarily have to believe this per se. But what if you just took on the view that your crappy rejection letter happened for you? For your highest good? How might that shift your perspective?


Maybe this situation is here to teach you resilience. Or to force you to deal with your fear of failure. Or perhaps there’s a better job offer waiting around the corner.


What if life is supposed to be hard, so you can show the world what you’re made of?


Bonus tip: Try forgiving those a**holes who rejected you! 🙃


I had a client once named Hank. His boss flew down to meet with him the week before Christmas and told him he was terminated. "The company moved in a different direction." 


Every time Hank thought about his boss, he inwardly cringed and spiraled down a bit.


I told him about the book, Unconditional Forgiveness by Mary Hayes Grieco. Now he feels lighter. If you’re holding any grudges, can you try leaning into forgiveness?


What to Do When Your Savings Are Running Low


Financial scarcity is one of the most intense feelings out there.


Money represents security and stability. So if you are afraid of running out, it can feel like your base levels of Maslow’s pyramid are shaking.


If you do feel like the clock is ticking on your job search before you go into real financial strain, then it’s time to make some practical shifts.


Action Steps: 


  1. Take a hard look at your finances. At the rate you’re spending, how long do you have to live at your current lifestyle?

  2. Start budgeting. If you’re spending money fast, cut your lifestyle as much as you can. Pricy vacations. High-end dining. Unnecessary subscriptions.

  3. Lower your standards. If money is a big enough priority here, broaden the range of jobs you’re applying for. It won’t be pleasant. It’ll bruise your ego. But once money starts flowing in and you’ve been in the role for a year or so, you can set your sights back on higher-paying roles.  


I’ve had other HR leaders gasp at me for this advice. But I want you to prioritize you. Sign that dotted line. Then let’s get you a better job.


What to Do When You Want to Give Up


If you feel like you can’t go on, then it’s likely you’ve lost track of the bigger picture.


Each day has probably become an endless slog. Grinding away at miserable applications. Hearing nothing back. Rinse and repeat.


In these cases, remember your purpose.  


It can be so easy for the angst of jobhunting to pull you away from your sense of purpose.


But I’ve seen time and again that once my clients get connected with their “why,” they uncover a store of energy they didn’t know they had and a positive outlook they had lost track of.


Action Step 1: Take an hour to journal about why you started this job-hunting journey in the first place. What are your larger career dreams? What impact do you want to make? 


Action Step 2: Write out a list of your top 5 strengths. Or as I like to call it: your Badass List 💪 


You may not want to go on because your self-esteem has taken a hit. 

One way to re-inflate your confidence is to come in touch with your superpowers. The reasons you’re a badass.


Start by making a list of your top 5 strengths. Write with some detail to really feel it.


Then, go a step further by asking friends and colleagues for reflections. Ask what they see your top strengths to be.


Here’s a sample email:


Hi Jo,


Hope you're doing well. I'm at an interesting point in my career and would love your insight.


I'm using this transition time to get a clear picture of my professional strengths. Would you be willing to share 2-3 qualities you think are my standout professional attributes? What do you see as my most valuable skills from your perspective?


Your candid thoughts would be really helpful as I'm mapping out my next steps.


Thanks,


Sam


P.S. If any professional opportunities or leads come to mind, I'm all ears 🙏🏻


3 Practical Tips to Get More Interviews


At this point in the article, I hope you have enough ideas to bring some wind back in your sails and tend to your emotional health.


But confidence is only half the battle.


It’d also be wise to upgrade your job search strategy and execution.


Try out the tips and practical advice below to get more interviews.


  1. Make your résumé a brochure


Recruiters see so many résumés a day. 


If your’s is flat and generic, then it’ll likely get tossed in the “nope!” pile.


Rethink your résumé: it’s not a document explaining yourself and your accomplishments. It’s a brochure that compels the recruiter to see you as an obvious fit for the role. 


Action Step: Rewrite your résumé as a marketing document, and customize each résumé to each application.


And, if you can afford it, I’d consider hiring a professional résumé writer.


You probably hire experts to manage your taxes or fix your car. So why not hire an expert to write your résumé?


  1. Set up coffee-dates


It’s not shameful to ask for help. And it’s not shameful to be looking for a job. Both of these things are very human!


So, if you’ve avoided turning to your friends, colleagues, and network out of fear of embarrassment, then it’s time to do something different.


Reach out.


I can tell you from my experience in HR and career coaching that networking is the single most common way people get jobs. By a mile.


Others want to see you succeed. They’ll be happy to help with job leads, advice, or encouragement. 


Action Step: Write out the 20 people closest to you. And reach out to each person to connect.


Just seek to catch up. And if the conversation approaches the topic of work, by all means mention that you’re looking for a new role. 


From working with clients, I’ve seen that about 10% of these conversations lead to a tangible recommendation or new connection. 


  1. Connect with executive recruiters


This is one of the most common missed opportunities by job seekers.


Executive recruiters are constantly searching for talented professionals to fill hard-to-find roles. 


Let me break it down for you:


In-house recruiters work directly for a company to fill open positions within that company. They focus on filling immediate, often more entry- to mid-level roles.


Executive recruiters (also known as headhunters) are talent scouts hired by companies to find exceptional candidates, particularly for senior roles.


Think of them as professional matchmakers for high-level talent. They work for multiple companies at once and are in conversation with dozens of candidates.


Companies compensate them when they successfully place candidates, so executive recruiters are financially motivated to find talented people to fill roles.  


Action Step: First, accept any LinkedIn requests from executive recruiters. 


Then, find 3 executive recruiting firms that specialize in your industry. Craft a thoughtful message to each. Stay in touch. Comment on their posts. Get on their radar for when they’re seeking a candidate just like you.


The Best Advice I Can Offer for Unemployment Depression


Seek out support.


If you can afford it, I’d highly recommend working with a career coach.


They can help you with emotional confidence and hold you accountable.


And career coaches can support you with practical tactics. They can refine your résumé, give you networking tips, edit your LinkedIn page, and help you practice interviews.


Hunting for jobs can be a challenging time. So, if you aren’t having much luck, why keep going at it alone?


If you’re interested in learning more, check out our career coaching page here.



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